Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Brain dead ape?

This came in and it never ceases to amaze me how some people feel the need to defend the giant Ikea. I have not spoken a word of lie in any of my posts and yet this person felt compelled to call me, among other things, a liar. Truly bizarre. Where do these people come from? You be the judge.
i work at ikea and i can tell you that none of your story is true based on the policies i know from the inside out. you are a very poor story teller and an even worse liar. you know the saying you get what you pay for idiot. ikea buys their products from the cheapest suppliers on the PLANET, and whatever country will give them the cheapest price that is where they buy it from. the key word is cheap, yes ikea is cheap and yes it is crap, so if you don't like it, go somewhere else, we don't need to hear about your ridiculous story, dump your cheap assed gilfriend while you're at it. before i worked at ikea i rarely shopped there because it is a given that their stuff is cheap crap. get over it. if you don't like it, don't buy it. i happen to know that a manager would see you immediately. a brain dead monkey could do almost any job at ikea including manager. all you would have had to do is go to ikea with your broken hopen and return the damaged one and then go buy a new one with your refund card. is that too hard to do you brain dead ape?

If this person did not want to hear about my "ridiculous story" they could have easily moved along. As I have said all along I knew it was CHEAP when I bought but I still maintain that even though something is cheap it does not necessarily mean it is crap. An expectation that when you pay money for furniture it should last more than a few months is, IMHO not asking for to much.

This person goes on to say that even a brain dead monkey could work at Ikea. He starts by saying that he works at Ikea. He ends by calling me a brain dead monkey. Who's the real brain dead monkey? Hmmmmm.


Orlando said...


1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KY62WKpkeY

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Ra9n_MVSM

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJowoYH2sSU


Pedro said...

Typical Ikea attitude, from a self admitted brain dead monkey employee no less. Too pretentious to shop at Ikea but enough of a low life to work there and insult the paying cusomters. So proud of Ikea that he reads anti Ikea blogs...

Here is my tale of Ikea woe:

We bought a Hemnes six drawer dresser for our daughter. The holes for the drawer tracks are drilled very close to the edge of the wood, less then a 1/4". The wood soon split and the tracks fell off. I live only 30 min from their New Haven store. Before I trucked it back to the store, I talked to a manager and showed him digital pics, he said no problem, bring it in for an exchange. On the appointed day, the manager was not in, I talked to another "manager". I will describe her in case you run into her (she refused to tell me her name), white female, about 5'7-8", 30-40's, short dark hair with a mullet and an enormously hostile attitude. She sneered at the dresser and said it was my fault for "over tightening" the screws. I pointed out the holes are located much too close to the edge of the wood, there is barely any material to retain the track. She was pompous and dismissive. She accused me of using a "power tool" to fasten the screws. Finally a man standing behind me piped up and said "I am a professional cabinet maker, those holes are much too close to the edge, I can't believe you are giving him such a hard time" I asked to speak to her boss, she said "I'm in charge here". I said "Are you telling me there is no one else in this entire building who is higher up than you?" She had no reply. Final solution: I was allowed to exchange for another unit which had been a floor display. This happened about two years ago (around 2008). I am writing this now in April of 2010. The dresser has failed again in the same way, but at least we got about two years service, at almost $280, still a very poor value to say nothing of the insulting dismissive customer support. If there are websites dedicated to the poor customer service of Ikea, then Ikea has a major problem. I guess their hot dogs and frozen yogurt are OK but DO NOT BUY THE HEMNES SIX DRAWER DRESSER!

p.s. To the self admitted Ikea brain dead monkey employee: I do not consider $280 "cheap", cheap in quality to be sure but not cheap in price.

Anonymous said...

Why I hate IKEA - I bought two Malm dressers and two Billy bookshelves, and one of the Malm sides had a corner broken off right out of the box, and one Billy shelf had a corner kind of crushed. Now I'm careful to pick boxes with no evidence of damage for just this reason, but I guess there is no way to keep the particle board from getting banged up once in a while.

So I had to take these two pieces back to exchange them. I had to wait over two hours in total (right next to the sign that says their goal is 9 minutes from when you take a number to when you get served) and since they didn't have the Malm side in their loose stock they had to send someone to get it from a new box. So 45 minutes later I ask about it and they tell me someone must have forgotten. Next they say there's only one in stock and they have to find it. Eventually they bring out a replacement part and guess what? The top front corner is crumpled, in the most visible place on the whole dresser! So naturally I don't want that piece, and noone tells me when there will be new stock in or takes my name to call me when it comes in.

Nobody says "I'm sorry you had to wait so long." or "I'm sorry the part was broken." or "I'm sorry we forgot that you were waiting for the part."

So now I'm so angry that I'm thinking I'll just bring back the $600.00 worth of dressers and bookshelves I bought and spent hours assembling and just order the same stuff from Overstock.com

Anonymous said...

Ikea is the worst. What about the concept of customer service? Try to find a phone number and then when do manage to get someone on line--you get a LOT of attitude.

Plus, are they ever in stock with anything?

Anonymous said...

I work at Ikea and let me tell you - the management is poorly trained and the employees are overworked and underpaid. The management took hours away from sales workers, put everyone in a yellow shirt and called it a strategy to get the consumer "thinking that there were more sales people on the floor." Truth is, more than half the staff cannot help you with your questions but they all "look" like they can. The company doesn't care that most people struggle with their income, or lack thereof, yet our store spends money on constant construction costs without tapping employee resources first. For example, three days after reducing sales worker hours and putting everyone in a yellow shirt, the store opted to paint the co-worker hallway white. Fine, except they hired this task out to a painting firm when we have both the tools and resources within the store. Cost: $2700. And we're a top performing store with an extremely low turnover rate and a highly talented staff. It's frustrating beyond belief.

Anonymous said...

The Suckage continues...
I don't know about IKEA stores but I can tell you that IKEA home shopping certainly SUCKS big time! Will never do that again! Here's my story... briefly...
We purchased a kitchen, it came missing items, we called them up and they said that it was not put on the order (BY THEIR STUPID salesrep) and then refused to compensate us for the missing items. So fine, we go purchase them ourselves in the store. They admitted, "granted we made a mistake, but we can not just give you items for free..." WHY NOT? You've caused me delays and other costs for that delay... other companies would have done so easily... definitely when they make a mistake, they apologize and make sure the customer is happy somehow. NOT IKEA!!!
Here's the twist, we also made a purchase that they needed to refund... which they couldn't do the math and refunded the wrong amount (less than what we paid)... so they have our money now... and it's been 2 months and still no refund of the difference they owe us (it's a small amount but I HATE them so much that I am not willing to let it go)... I've gotten the same run around and promises to call back (BULLSHIT!)... I've emailed as well... still no response... such a waste of time but wait till I get someone on the phone again... they're totally getting it from me LOUD and CLEAR... I guess whoever said that brain dead apes worked for IKEA may be right... especially at the home shopping center! You do get what you pay for but if it's really crappy and you want your money back... they need to give you the entire amount! Maybe that's how they make their money... by keeping others' money wherever they can. I guess that's what you have to do when you SUCK that much!

kris said...

Ikea is the worst company on the planet. Their kitchen cabinet installers drilled into my waste water stack. Now 2.5years later raw sewage and water has been leaking into my kitchen and ruined my walls and cabinets. Black mould is everywhere and Ikea (Toronto) is refusing to fix their mistake. Not a single employee out of the 7 we spoke to cared. They claim that because that installer no longer works for Ikea and that it's past the 1yr warranty it is not their responsibility. We are taking this story to anyone and everyone to try and get their attention and let the world know exactly what kind of shameful customer service Ikea actually provides. I will never shop their again and encourage anyone considering shopping there to GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Anonymous said...

Brain dead apes could offer better service, if only because they wouldn't have the 'intelligence' to believe their own BS, which is something the company manager’s posses in spades. As an unfortunate UK employee I am constantly frustrated by the inability to offer straightforward solutions.

Instead I am continuingly apologising to people when I tell them they have to come back for out of stock products because we don't offer any kind of reservation service and work on the basis of selling furniture like Tesco sells baked beans.

Believe it or not there are actually co-workers who want to help but have to deal with managers who can't be bothered and other co-workers who are at best lazy and incompetent and at worst downright liars.

A typical day for the self serve co-worker at IKEA consist of having understandably irate customers come to you after being told that we have stock, going to an empty location and then being shown the correct stock level on the computer which inevitably shows a big fat zero.

Trying to get most of the managers to be helpful is an art in itself, many times I've had minor arguments on the phone, having to press the fact that someone had driven 30 miles 4 times, made 2 returns, are obviously not happy and want a different approach than the usual "you need to come back when it's in stock or you'll have to pay delivery if you want it sent".

Generally speaking you do need to kick up a fuss to get individual service, as one manager said to me "only offer things if they make a fuss 'cos it costs us money to do this". Not that the company is short of a few extra coffers since it's technically under a charity umbrella to avoid paying taxes, here's a link http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/14675

Part of the company vision is to create "a better everyday life for the many people" (no I’m not kidding) so with that in mind here are two things to help with product troubles in UK stores if you must go.

Never let people fob you off with the 0845 number, I cannot stress how bad the call centre is! Demand that stores number and refuse to leave until you've got it; make up some major sob story if you have to. Don't take peoples "we have lots" explanation for products you really need, ask them to ring through to self serve warehouse for a location check to be doubly sure (products go missing every week at IKEA so the computer stock levels are often wrong).

I think another fed up colleague summed up the company in one perfect sentence, "this is quickly turning into a fascist state". In my opinion it says it all, IKEA way or the highway.

Anonymous said...

you're the brain dead ape, you moron. ikea products look good, are strong and last. if some of them arent as good as you expected, you can refund them. so shut the fuck up, this BLOG sucks. oh, and their products are cheap, so Stfu x2.

Megan said...

haven't had a chance to read your posts, as i am on hold with guess who?...IKEA! they suck! ordered stuff almost 2 weeks ago, paid 159 just for the delivery and still waiting on the call on when it will arrive... on hold to cancel!

Anonymous said...

My most recent encounter with IKEA is in keeping with everything you've written.
On Fri Oct 01 19:17:18 EDT 2010, ******** wrote:
Contact IKEA Request
Store: Emeryville, CA
emailTo: ********

first name: ********
last name: ********
message: Earlier this year I purchased an Expedit coffee table (birch/glass). I am writing to you about the rubber "bumpers" which are intended to keep the glass top suspended off of the table surface and prevent the glass from floating. I've replaced these bumpers multiple times because the adhesive does not hold them in place (not even for a day). Additionally, the bumpers have worn the birch veneer off of the table surface upon which they are resting. I own a Malm bed, dresser, and nightstands, and a Kivik loveseat - all of which are well-made and worth the investment. I'm truly disappointed with this product.

Best regards,
Quoting customer_care@ushelp.ikea.com:

Hello ********,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. IKEA does carry replacement parts for a majority of our products; however, we cannot guarantee availability. In most cases, spare parts are only issued for items that have damaged or missing parts upon receipt, if the return is made within 90 days of the purchase date.

If you no longer have a receipt, many of our store locations have bins of the most commonly used hardware in the Customer Service/Returns Desk area in our store locations. Depending on quantity charges may apply.

We do hope that this information has been helpful, and we thank you for your inquiry.

Best Regards,
IKEA Customer Care Center
Tue Oct 05 11:23:19 EDT 2010, ******** wrote:
No, the information you provided was not helpful. My message was not about the need for replacement parts, it was about a substandard product design.
From: customer_care@ushelp.ikea.com
Sent: Friday, October 08, 2010 10:22 AM
To: ********
Subject: Re: Message from Contact Us page

Hello ********,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We apologize for any inconvenience.

IKEA products carry a guarantee for material quality and workmanship.

In cases where there may be a potential defect in a product, we generally recommend returning to the store along with your receipt, so that co-workers in the store are able to inspect the item. At that time, a Customer Service Representative can also arrange a refund, exchange, or credit as deemed appropriate.

Thank you for selecting IKEA.

Best regards,
IKEA Customer Care Center
On Sat Oct 09 21:01:54 EDT 2010, ******** wrote:
The Emeryville store was no help. I took the table back and showed them the features I detailed below and they told me that it was "normal use". I don't consider that "normal use" includes damage caused by poor engineering.
From: customer_care@ushelp.ikea.com
Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 12:09 PM
To: ********
Subject: RE: Message from Contact Us page

Hello ********,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We do apologize for any inconvenience that you may have experienced.

We would suggest to speak with the Customer Service manager in the store regarding this issue. Unfortunately, once the customer brings the items back for quality inspection we can not override the stores final word on the exchange.

We do apologize for any inconvenience, and we thank you for your inquiry.

Best Regards,
IKEA Customer Care Center

Anonymous said...

Hey.. guess what? I too work at ikea and think you're an absolute idiot who has no social life. You've been complaining on here since 2005.. that's a joke! Please find a life and a new hobby. The world does not revolve around you and your broken table. You were probably a dumbass and built whatever you're so busy complaining about wrong. IKEA is actually an amazing company that goes out of it's way to help the environment and provide products to the greatest number of people at the lowest cost. Plus, I can truly say that whenever a customer has a concern a manager is instantly available to assist them. There is ALWAYS a duty manager available if the store manager is not. Managers and coworkers go out of their way to help customers on a daily basis. We're a fun company that is all over the world. Have fun shopping at Art Van or wherever and spending thousands of dollars on something you could buy at IKEA for much less.

Anonymous said...

IKEA products are of inferior quality and poorly designed. I hauled home an Expedit bookshelf yesterday. Upon opening the box, found one of the shelf's edges chipped and broken. Went back to IKEA the next day to get a replacement. The replacement went smoothly enough. Started the assembly process and at the end of the process, could complete the assembly. The shelf is interconnected by dowels which have to be lined up perfectly and don't simply slide into the drilled hole. Try lining up the dowels and holes and use a mallet to tap them in - you can't..at least I couldn't. The particle board construction is easy to chip and break.
Very frustrating experience...

Anonymous said...

My local IKEA in Tempe Arizona is another place with crappy service. I went to buy a Flygel desk lamp. Checkout would not sell me the last model (the demo model) - left the store disgusted - was told to come back when they have them in stock. Check ed the online inventory a couple days later - showed six in stock. Another 50 mile roundtrip to the store. Get there - NO flipping Flygel lamps in stock. Can't order one online. Told the clerk about trying to buy the demo lamp. She told me they can provide a tag which will let me buy it - BUT the checkout person the previous day didn't tell me anything about that. I ask the clerk why I needed a tag to buy the malp. She says it is to keep the inventory accurate. Well dud - the fliipin INVENTORY ISN'T ACCURATE. Her computer shows six lamps in stock. I hate this flippin store and the crappy people who work there.

stephen said...

Hahhaha that story email you received was hillarious, calm down there my god, very funny!

zeroluv said...

I think IKEA is great! Great Price and a quality product.

Anonymous said...

They are cheap but that doesn't give them any reason to mislabel their products and deliver the wrong things to peoples homes and then expect them to go to the store to have it dealt with. Stupid people and worse customer service is not tolerated. Just because someone buys something inexpensive doesn't mean they deserve to be treated like crap or deal with people with rock for brains. Maybe if your work "cheaply" for Ikea you deserve to be called an idiot?

Anonymous said...

lol u choose the comments that only agree with you :p haha. where else can you get cheap simple furniture?

Kaz said...

I just tried calling Ikea to inquire about a return, after waiting 15 minutes for the 3rd time on hold in their 'imaginery' que, i just had to give up!!!
i dont understand, how can they even call it Customer Service??

and the best part, you cannot email ikea through their website for any queries either. its the most frustrating thing ever!

Anonymous said...

My god you are a whiny bitch

Anonymous said...

IKEA sucks ass. I have never had a good experience shopping in there, and once you bought their stuff they can give you the wrong piece and shit for that matter. I don't care for all the IKEA lovers out there. I will never shop in any IKEA in the world ever. Dear blog owner, I am with you.

Anonymous said...

Just got back from Ikea and bought the Kilby shelving unit. Put it together and looks great. Also had lunch there, when making the purchase.

I don't know what's all crying about in this blog. Have many of you consider buying your products from Walmart instead?

Anonymous said...

You people have way too much time on your hands.

Anonymous said...

I've spent thousands at Ikea in the past few years, never really had a complaint, then we received something with missing parts and the journey to hell began.

The first girl I spoke to really couldn't give a shit, she promised me the parts would arrive Mon/Tue, so I booked the time off work and waited patiently for the parts to arrive. 4PM on Tuesday I get a call telling me the spare parts are out of stock, but they'll be with me Fri/Sat.

Luckily I've got annual leave left, so I book off Sat and swop a shift to wait in on Friday... still nothing!

On the Monday I called up and got through to an advisor that displayed some empathy, again they couldn't guarantee delivery dates, but it would be Thurs, Fri, Sat! Also I got told that they'd booked the wrong parts as missing... joy of joys!

You can guess what happened next, oh yes, 3 days sitting in and still no spare parts.

By some miracle on the Sunday I got through to the same CSA who said, enough is enough, Ikea at Nottingham are obviously inept, I'll send you a whole new cabinet, its totally Nottinghams fault, it will be with you Thursday/Friday.

It finally turned up on the Friday, they dropped off the parcel and the delivery men stood there, I thought it was a bit odd, after a few minutes they said, where's the goods to be collected. I let them know that nothing was to be collected, I was told by online customer services that I was getting both cabinets.

You can imagine what happened next, they spoke to their boss, who spoke to someone called Tracey at Nottingham. She was adamant that I would be returning the whole cabinet, which had all of my sons books and toys on. At this point I couldn't compose myself anymore, I ended up crying in front of the delivery men!

I was so pissed off I decided to let her know that I'm actually rather unwell, due to Ikea at Notts being inept I won't get to see my family at Xmas as I've used up all of my annual leave! I would be going to the press, I was going to personally mention her name and how awful she was too me!

This reminds me, I was having a go at how awful it had been waiting in for so many days without any spare parts. She only puts the phone on the desk and goes to speak to customer services. How stupid do I look ranting to myself with no one there!

In the end I got to keep the second cabinet. I opened the box and they'd made the same mistake again, more missing parts!

Anonymous said...

We decided we needed a desk, you'd think after the first bad experience we wouldn't go there again, but we thought if we went in store it would be different.

One of us went to the spare parts section, the other went to wait for the desk to be issued. I spotted the lovely Tracey... I didn't realise you had to take a ticket... obviously they know lots of people have problems with missing parts if you need to grab a ticket. The woman on the customer services / parts desk barked at me. Not only that she took a good 20 minutes to get something sorted after another customer had left. It was like watching a moody teenager sort something out.

I finally got the spare parts 'yay' the person collecting the desk was slightly pissed off. They quote 7 minutes as the waiting time for them to issue items. We waited an hour!

You'd think at this point nothing else could get much worse.

I'm in a wheelchair usually, but due to needing space in the car I used one of their sexy scooters... The person with me needed to help me to the car, when he tried to get through the disabled access gate, some lad barked at him, the person with me said 'Tough luck I need to help her into the car' Another woman came and grabbed him saying that he wasn't allowed through the gate, which left us with a dilema of how I would get into the car. I was feeling really ill and I needed to go and recline the seat in the car to try and stop me passing out, so he couldn't leave me because I was really unwell!

Are the people that work at Ikea human, are they robots that look life like impregnated with the Ikea ethos of cheap goods, shit customer service?!?

If you never have issues with their goods, generally you're happy that you've got something relatively nice and relatively cheap! If you ever have a problem, god help you!

Ndogg111 said...

IKEA is absolutely the worst store in the world. It is like you are trapped in a never ending maze filled with goblins, prison food, furniture that should be at a motel 6, and endless rows of useless junk all with the most ridiculous names that you can ever imagine. In the day and age of "buy made in America", why the hell are these stores everywhere now a days. 15 years ago they were nowhere, now since they have "cheap" furniture and a large selection, lazy, hypocritical Americans choose to shop at such a place. It is just mind boggling. I have been dragged to this god forsaken place a few times in the past, and each time, I literally begin to feel ill about 10 minutes into it, my equilibrium fails me and I get very angry and inpatient. The mindless people that walk the isle throwing junk into their oversize yellow bags and ridiculously large carts, scribbling nonsense on their cheat sheets, not having a care in the world that you are there, just disgusts me to the point that I always veer straight for the exit. Please, for the love of your country, DO NOT SHOP AT IKEA. Go find your local “made in America” furniture store and kitchen ware store. They are out there. Yes you may pay a little more, but you are supporting you country, not the Satan spawn of the Wal-Mart ideology.

Anonymous said...

i think you're pathetic.