Tuesday, August 07, 2007

A comment worth posting.

This came to me as a comment on this blog and I thought it worth posting. Seems many many people have had similar experiences to mine. Again I ask "How did this company become the best selling furniture company in the world?" We must be stupid or something. here's a good one, enjoy:
i have an ikea story for ya...

so my girlfriend buys me a hopen (six drawer cabinet) from the aforementioned place of suckery. builds it for me as a christmas present. does a good job. no pieces missing and everything SEEMS sturdy. about three weeks later after barely loading the thing with nothing but socks and t-shirts the doors start to stick. then they just plain wont open. seems the crappy particle board wood is cracking and cant hold the screws in. so i call ikea up. they inform me that they have a replacement side panel. im in california so we have like 3 nearby. nearby being at least an hour and thirty minute drive. get in the car. load piece of crap hopen in the back. drive to "closest" ikea and then begin to wait. and wait. and wait. at least 40 minutes of respectful asking for service later do i finally get "served". and by served i mean ive gotten better help from people beating me up. apparently the guy i spoke to on the phone was on an extended meatball break and when he finally got done the part i had driven all that way for was given to somebody else. so of course im pissed off but dont want to burn any bridges. i respectfully leave after giving them my name and number and getting their full assurance that once the part i need comes in i will be called. 3 hours on the freeway. 1 hour at the store. keep these numbers handy we'll be adding them up later.

two weeks go by without a word so i finally decide to call them back. after waiting on hold for a 30 mins i am directed to voicemail. leave my message. over the course of the next two weeks i leave 5 more. usually only after having to wait through 20 minutes of automated diretories and empty promises that the person im looking for will be with me shortly. finally after three weeks of this crap i get ahold of the guy and low and behold they had my piece for a while but couldnt get in touch with me. yeah uh huh. i ask to speak to a manager. no luck must be eating meatballs. but before i give up hope and just set fire to my cardboard hopen my contact there tells me that he just happened to find another piece but i need to come down rightaway to pick it up. so on what was shaping up to be a wonderful sunday of picking my nose scratching my butt and sleeping in turned into another hour and a half drive to ikea. aka annoying people suckville. i get to the store wait twenty minutes to speak to my guy and am later told that he went home for the day. nobody knows anything about the piece im there for so im instructed to look around the store till it can be found. 30 minutes later OOPS! no luck! no side panel piece. however i was instructed that i can purchase another 250 dollar hopen and use the piece from that one... yeah im not kidding that was their "suggestion". so its manager time. im upset but still respectfully request to speak to a higher up... and im told thats gonna take some time. i guess everyone in ikea is busy at their other jobs or solving the cure for cancer cause nobody seems to be available EVER. im told its going to be about 40 minutes so i decide to walk around their store.

i walk around for about 20 mins and head to the check out line with some cd holders im pretty sure weren't made out of particle wood or need to be put together... though one can never be sure. im in line for around 15 minutes until its finally my turn. and when i get to the cashier i am told that the holders i am trying to purchase were display models and arent for sale. a 2 dollar item that is no longer in stock is not for sale??? after she makes about 5 calls, one im assuming is to the pentagon to make sure our national security and or economy wont negatively be affected by this sale, i am told that infact i will just have to come back another time when they are available. so i go to the front of the store ready to meet the manager when i find out that its going to be a little while longer. now at this point im sure any normal person would haver either got pissed in yelled or just left. but this is a mission now and i have no life. so i decide to stay. but im hungry. luckily ikea has a wonderful gormet cafe that serves old hotdogs and disgusting cinnamon rolls. so i wait in line for another 10 minutes. place my order when its my turn and am then told that i cannot use a credit card to make this purchase because the machine is down... yet we are only five feet away from the checkout lines that do accept credit cards. i ask if i can just be rung up at one of those and am looked at like i just asked for a mountain to be moved. i reach an agreement with the highschool dropout ive been so fortunate to have take my order that i will be able to take my food so long as i leave my credit card with her until the machines are up... which should be in five minutes.

so i dont have any cash on me and am hungry from my long drive my long wait and just plain frustration i make the deal. and then things start to really get bad. i finish my slop about 20 minutes later but the manager is still not ready to meet with me so i mosey on down to the cafe to get my card back. wouldnt ya know it the machine is still down. im then told by someone at the front that the manager wont be able to meet me at all today... for absolutely no reason. they couldnt even think to make up an excuse they just said he cant do it. then i am told by dropout number one that the cash register is going to be down for an unknown amount of time... and i just lose it... at least on the inside. i calmy go back to the dining area and wait another 20 minutes for somebody figured out that it needed to be plugged in to work. i pay for my meal and then i walk out. i walk to my car. get in. but i decide not to leave. i back up to the front of the store and open the trunk. i begin to take out all the side panels all the front and top ones and all the drawers and put them in a pile behind my car about 10 feet away from the main pretentious glass enclosed entrance. and of course people are looking at me like "what a nut" and admittedly after a while it starts to get to me. i start to feel bad and like said nut. but then i think "screw that" and decide to build something out of all the broken cardboard pieces. i stack them as high as i can, one on top of the other, reaching to the heavens so that God can maybe notice and see all the wrong being done to people at this store. i stack everything a good ten feet on top of each other making a nice little ikea statue. i drive off and smile. revenge was mine. i laugh to myself as i think of how the high school dropouts having to wear ugly blue and yellow uniforms are being ordered by meatball eating managers to pick up my modern art garbage masterpiece right now. i smiled and i laughed and then im reminded that 250 dollars, one month of hassles fake promises and phone tag, around 60 dollars worth of gas, and a disgusting hot dog were all still dumped in my lap for the sole reason that i got something from IKEA. I HATE YOU IKEA AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD YOU SWEDISH EURO TRASH PIECE OF CRAP. YOU SUCK!