Ikea humour

Despite how I feel about the mighty Ikea I thought this was funny:

Still going.

Every once in a while I check back in here to see if anyone has left comments. It never disappoints and each time I come back I find legitimate comments amongst the spam comments. I have posted them ALL contrary to the accusation that I only post the ones that agree with me and my experience. I can't control what or how people comment. I do post them all (except the spam crap) and if the large percentage of those concur with me and my experience well so be it. The truth doesn't lie and apparently I am not the only one who has had a negative experience with the mighty Ikea. And yet somehow they remain mighty. Baaaaaah baaaaah. ;-)

Have a great day. Cheers.

Brain dead ape?

This came in and it never ceases to amaze me how some people feel the need to defend the giant Ikea. I have not spoken a word of lie in any of my posts and yet this person felt compelled to call me, among other things, a liar. Truly bizarre. Where do these people come from? You be the judge.

i work at ikea and i can tell you that none of your story is true based on the policies i know from the inside out. you are a very poor story teller and an even worse liar. you know the saying you get what you pay for idiot. ikea buys their products from the cheapest suppliers on the PLANET, and whatever country will give them the cheapest price that is where they buy it from. the key word is cheap, yes ikea is cheap and yes it is crap, so if you don't like it, go somewhere else, we don't need to hear about your ridiculous story, dump your cheap assed gilfriend while you're at it. before i worked at ikea i rarely shopped there because it is a given that their stuff is cheap crap. get over it. if you don't like it, don't buy it. i happen to know that a manager would see you immediately. a brain dead monkey could do almost any job at ikea including manager. all you would have had to do is go to ikea with your broken hopen and return the damaged one and then go buy a new one with your refund card. is that too hard to do you brain dead ape?

If this person did not want to hear about my "ridiculous story" they could have easily moved along. As I have said all along I knew it was CHEAP when I bought but I still maintain that even though something is cheap it does not necessarily mean it is crap. An expectation that when you pay money for furniture it should last more than a few months is, IMHO not asking for to much.

This person goes on to say that even a brain dead monkey could work at Ikea. He starts by saying that he works at Ikea. He ends by calling me a brain dead monkey. Who's the real brain dead monkey? Hmmmmm.

Oh joy oh bliss

Just recently it was announced that our fair city is getting ..... wait for it ..... our very own .... oh joy oh bliss I can hardly wait ... free standing, massive IKEA store!

I think I am one of the very few that aren't simply orgasmic about this. Best of luck to them all. May their experience be much better than mine.

Top of the season to you all. Cheers.

More of the same and then this...

I find it interesting and disappointing all at the same time that I continue to get story after story of similar encounters with Ikea. I guess I shouldn't be surprised given what I know.

And then there are those who choose to defend them. That is fine but sometimes I feel compelled to comment on comments that I receive. Below is one such comment that I felt needed a reply:

honestly i am an ikea employee, and i would never order from online, not because it's ikea but because ordering furniture online seems pretty weird, anyways the reality is ikea is cheap, and you get what you pay for, you could always pay triple for the similar piece of furniture somewhere else, but you don't. so live with your choices in life, just deal with it. if you wanted ikea to have tons of smiling faces helping you in store or over the phone prices would sky rocket and then you wouldn't shop there, i have learned by working there and shopping there that if you want to be an ikea customer you need to learn to be patient. our motto is if the customer gives a little, and we give a little together we can save a lot. but customers believe that they need all the attention all the time, and in this world that comes with a price. it's like shopping at Target and Nordstrom, at Target you can't find anyone to help you but stuff is cheap, at Nordstrom you have to beat coworkers off with a stick, and the price reflects it. anyways good luck shopping and it's hard being no. 1, it's lonely at the top.......

First let me say that I appreciate this comment and agree that one needs to go into buying cheap furniture with their eyes wide open knowing that you get what you pay for. I know we did when we went and bought this table. But the minute one pays, no matter how little, for something one rightly expects that A) all of the parts are there, B) that it goes together as expected, and 3) that it lasts more than a few months. If you read through this blog and most of the subsequent comments you will find that often one, two or all three of these were not the case. Yet as the quoted writer suggests we are supposed to some how accept this because we didn't pay what some believe to be enough for that kind of quality?

I would suggest that for many what they have paid may very well be a small fortune and that they deserve something that will last beyond a few months, have all of it's parts and go together as suggested in the instructions. They do not expect it to grow into the family heirloom antique otherwise they should definitely be shopping somewhere else. Most just want and deserve something that they can get by with.

I find the comment about the customer giving a little and then them giving kind of troubling. Didn't the customer give them hard earned money for their defective product? Aren't they, at least in my case, those who gave nothing? I would have had plenty of patience and give had they shown me even a modicum of it. They shut me down from the get go and forced my hand.

It seems like such a waste of energy now. Cie la vie I guess.

Happy furniture hunting.

Been a while

Sorry that it's been a while since posting to this blog and or replying to comments. I forget that people are still commenting here with most empathizing and or sharing their own horrid experience with Ikea. Then I get the ones like you see quoted below and it reminds me that some people take their own personal ownership of places like Ikea and feel the need to defend while throwing insults at those they don't agree with. To me, and especially now that I am no longer in a very angry phase of my life, they are simply being rude. And for what? The defence of a multi-national corporation like Ikea. And they say I need to get a life. To be fair not all who disagree with me are rude and I surely don't mind being disagreed with. Heck it is what makes the world interesting. Having said that I present two examples of disagreement, one being rude and the other being funny. You decide for yourself. Oh and do take a minute to read the other comments as some of them are very interesting:

Rude:

beinghonest said...
i'm sorry, but this truly is just pitiful. i shop IKEA all the time ad not only do i get GREAT service when i'm in there, but if something breaks (which NEVER happens for no reason) i am always given a replacement piece. no problem. they probably were "rude" to you because they serve human beings, not arrogant pricks like you. all that "time" you wasted... you probably caused it. i'm sorry but this whole "saga" is disgusting, self- centered, and annoying. grow up. IKEA is great.

FYI: Being honest wasn't honest or brave enough to leave a comment that could be replied to. Typical. Not to mention that I stated a couple of times that I don't think I would have had any of these problems had I had an actual store to walk into and talk face-to-face with someone. Instead, as a mail-order customer all dealings where done over the phone or via e-mail. Apparently to this person being critical does not include being thorough and reading the WHOLE story. And I'm the one who needs to see a psychiatrist. Ha!

Funny:

anonymous said...
Go. see. a. psychiatrist. At once.

To that I say "thanks I have and it helped a lot, but I still won't shop at Ikea again." ;)

Well that's it for now. Shop at Ikea at your own risk. To those with nothing but positive experiences with Ikea and their products I say "congratulations, good for you. I would expect nothing less from the biggest furniture company in the world." I only wish that was my experience but it wasn't and I, for whatever reasons, felt like writing about it. If you want to leave your counter experience by all means please do. Just please don't be rude about it. Thanks much and Cheers!

A comment worth posting.

This came to me as a comment on this blog and I thought it worth posting. Seems many many people have had similar experiences to mine. Again I ask "How did this company become the best selling furniture company in the world?" We must be stupid or something. here's a good one, enjoy:

i have an ikea story for ya...

so my girlfriend buys me a hopen (six drawer cabinet) from the aforementioned place of suckery. builds it for me as a christmas present. does a good job. no pieces missing and everything SEEMS sturdy. about three weeks later after barely loading the thing with nothing but socks and t-shirts the doors start to stick. then they just plain wont open. seems the crappy particle board wood is cracking and cant hold the screws in. so i call ikea up. they inform me that they have a replacement side panel. im in california so we have like 3 nearby. nearby being at least an hour and thirty minute drive. get in the car. load piece of crap hopen in the back. drive to "closest" ikea and then begin to wait. and wait. and wait. at least 40 minutes of respectful asking for service later do i finally get "served". and by served i mean ive gotten better help from people beating me up. apparently the guy i spoke to on the phone was on an extended meatball break and when he finally got done the part i had driven all that way for was given to somebody else. so of course im pissed off but dont want to burn any bridges. i respectfully leave after giving them my name and number and getting their full assurance that once the part i need comes in i will be called. 3 hours on the freeway. 1 hour at the store. keep these numbers handy we'll be adding them up later.

two weeks go by without a word so i finally decide to call them back. after waiting on hold for a 30 mins i am directed to voicemail. leave my message. over the course of the next two weeks i leave 5 more. usually only after having to wait through 20 minutes of automated diretories and empty promises that the person im looking for will be with me shortly. finally after three weeks of this crap i get ahold of the guy and low and behold they had my piece for a while but couldnt get in touch with me. yeah uh huh. i ask to speak to a manager. no luck must be eating meatballs. but before i give up hope and just set fire to my cardboard hopen my contact there tells me that he just happened to find another piece but i need to come down rightaway to pick it up. so on what was shaping up to be a wonderful sunday of picking my nose scratching my butt and sleeping in turned into another hour and a half drive to ikea. aka annoying people suckville. i get to the store wait twenty minutes to speak to my guy and am later told that he went home for the day. nobody knows anything about the piece im there for so im instructed to look around the store till it can be found. 30 minutes later OOPS! no luck! no side panel piece. however i was instructed that i can purchase another 250 dollar hopen and use the piece from that one... yeah im not kidding that was their "suggestion". so its manager time. im upset but still respectfully request to speak to a higher up... and im told thats gonna take some time. i guess everyone in ikea is busy at their other jobs or solving the cure for cancer cause nobody seems to be available EVER. im told its going to be about 40 minutes so i decide to walk around their store.

i walk around for about 20 mins and head to the check out line with some cd holders im pretty sure weren't made out of particle wood or need to be put together... though one can never be sure. im in line for around 15 minutes until its finally my turn. and when i get to the cashier i am told that the holders i am trying to purchase were display models and arent for sale. a 2 dollar item that is no longer in stock is not for sale??? after she makes about 5 calls, one im assuming is to the pentagon to make sure our national security and or economy wont negatively be affected by this sale, i am told that infact i will just have to come back another time when they are available. so i go to the front of the store ready to meet the manager when i find out that its going to be a little while longer. now at this point im sure any normal person would haver either got pissed in yelled or just left. but this is a mission now and i have no life. so i decide to stay. but im hungry. luckily ikea has a wonderful gormet cafe that serves old hotdogs and disgusting cinnamon rolls. so i wait in line for another 10 minutes. place my order when its my turn and am then told that i cannot use a credit card to make this purchase because the machine is down... yet we are only five feet away from the checkout lines that do accept credit cards. i ask if i can just be rung up at one of those and am looked at like i just asked for a mountain to be moved. i reach an agreement with the highschool dropout ive been so fortunate to have take my order that i will be able to take my food so long as i leave my credit card with her until the machines are up... which should be in five minutes.

so i dont have any cash on me and am hungry from my long drive my long wait and just plain frustration i make the deal. and then things start to really get bad. i finish my slop about 20 minutes later but the manager is still not ready to meet with me so i mosey on down to the cafe to get my card back. wouldnt ya know it the machine is still down. im then told by someone at the front that the manager wont be able to meet me at all today... for absolutely no reason. they couldnt even think to make up an excuse they just said he cant do it. then i am told by dropout number one that the cash register is going to be down for an unknown amount of time... and i just lose it... at least on the inside. i calmy go back to the dining area and wait another 20 minutes for somebody figured out that it needed to be plugged in to work. i pay for my meal and then i walk out. i walk to my car. get in. but i decide not to leave. i back up to the front of the store and open the trunk. i begin to take out all the side panels all the front and top ones and all the drawers and put them in a pile behind my car about 10 feet away from the main pretentious glass enclosed entrance. and of course people are looking at me like "what a nut" and admittedly after a while it starts to get to me. i start to feel bad and like said nut. but then i think "screw that" and decide to build something out of all the broken cardboard pieces. i stack them as high as i can, one on top of the other, reaching to the heavens so that God can maybe notice and see all the wrong being done to people at this store. i stack everything a good ten feet on top of each other making a nice little ikea statue. i drive off and smile. revenge was mine. i laugh to myself as i think of how the high school dropouts having to wear ugly blue and yellow uniforms are being ordered by meatball eating managers to pick up my modern art garbage masterpiece right now. i smiled and i laughed and then im reminded that 250 dollars, one month of hassles fake promises and phone tag, around 60 dollars worth of gas, and a disgusting hot dog were all still dumped in my lap for the sole reason that i got something from IKEA. I HATE YOU IKEA AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD YOU SWEDISH EURO TRASH PIECE OF CRAP. YOU SUCK!

Still more misguided comments

I received this from yet again another anonymous (read: guttless coward) poster:

If you knew anything about good service you wouldn't be acting in this way. People like you are horrible to have to deal with. I'm sure you'd be just as rude to someone who offered you the most amazing service imaginable...All you're trying to do is get stuff for your lousy complaints. Quit being an ass someday ok. Love ya..See ya at IKEA next time...cuz you know you'll be back..mark my words..no doubt about it :)

Since when are we not to expect good customer service, especially from a giant like IKEA(suckz)? Please, enlighten me on how if I knew anything about customer service I wouldn't be acting this way! This should be good. I mean really, have we dumbed ourselves down to the point where we are suposed to accept poor quality and service? I thpought it was the other way around. And to say that I was being rude is plain ludicrous! I did not get nor was I ever rude with these people and in fact they were rude to me. So much so that that is the reason they replaced the broken parts; their poor handling of the situation and the fact that they treated me rudely.

Now if the 12 year olds who have some how taken it upon themselves to champion the cause of IKEA(suckz) would guit wasting their time posting disparaging comments and go and get a real job in the service industry then maybe they wouldn't be so quick to condem me for wanting, no demanding good customer servce. If you're already in the field DO YOUR FUCKING JOB WELL and you won't get any complaints from the likes of me. Otherwise don't expect me to freely give you my hard earned cash. Maybe then they'll learn the value of standing behind a product and not looking at everyone who complains as an ass with nothing better to do. Quite frankly I find it appalling that I need to defend my position in any way. It's so clear to me.

Oh and just to be perfectly clear, I will NEVER shop at IKEA(suckz) again! You can mark MY words on that one ya stupid dumb ass!

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